Insomnia is the worst bp symptom for me because it hits me when I'm up and it hits me when I'm down. Drat. I'm not sleeping and none of my usual sleeping drugs are doing the trick. Me being up for too many days in a row usually means bad things, so I stress out about that and that's no way to lull yourself to sleep.

I'm going to puke if I drink one more cup of herbal tea and I'm a big prune from so many warm baths. I've tried reading the most boring books I've got, listening to soothing music, meditating, deep breathing, and sex. I've even tried lying still in bed with my eyes closed. I think I'm going to have to pay someone to hit me with a bat or something. Or maybe find a disreputable anesthesiologist to hook me up and knock me out.

I just need to sleep. I'm so tired and so wired at the same time. I hate this. I hate this. And the worst thing is I don't think this qualifies as an emergency to page pdoc for. What's he going to do, sing me a lullaby? Also, it seems a bit mean to page him and wake him up to tell him I'm still not sleeping. Kind of like saying hey taste this it's awful. Besides, my only drug options left will zonk me out so much I can't get through the days and that doesn't do me much good with a family to take care of. Ahhhh to be battery powered.

Sorry to ***** and moan. Nothing like a good moan session when you're up in the night...I've often thought that I'd have much more productive therapy sessions if they could happen at 1 am. Too bad.