I am finding that it helps me to write out in a poem what I am feeling that I can't otherwise describe. Does anyone else do that? This is one I wrote last night.

my reality

i live inside
its where i stay
looking out
but aint no way
to comprehend
the world around
when all i hear
is noise and sound

i see the rest
they joke and play
it makes no sense to me
my head hurts
and bones get sad
cause i dont belong
at all

i go to bed
and think about
the days and months ahead
and those behind
which look the same
circles make me mad

years fold around me
terror seizes my throat
another few hours
divided by the only peace
my senses will allow
knowing another day
a bully
awaits