Hi everyone. Although this is my first post, I have to say I've been coming to pc, and reading posts and getting to know you all a little bit.

I finally decide to write because I feel on a major crisis.

I've been with my current therapist for 6 months now (I've been in therapy 3 years so far with other 2 ts)

I'm scared to talk to her. I have strong transference issues (with all my previous t too). And I'm terribly afraid to discuss them with her. I hate being so attached to her, feeling needy and abandoned every time for no reason.

Last session I sort of "pretended" to be ok, talked about positive stuff and seemed hopeful. My T was happy about it. But reality is that no matter how many good things happen to me, the depresion and the anxiety are always present. I don't want to complain every session about the same stuff.

I also feel I'm not getting anywhere. My t knows about my attachment issues, my social phobia, low-self esteem, overweight issues, difficulty interacting with people and feelings of inferiority. Sometimes we get to talk about that, at least on a superficial level, but nothing seems to change.

I know for sure that she is a very qualified T, and that is willing to help me and discuss even the hardest issues such as transference and my relationship with her.

But I can't do it. She asks me every session how am I doing, and all I can do is say "ok". Then 'I get blocked or talk about something stupid, not getting to the real issues.

I really can't stand the suffering anymore. The pressure is building up and I feel I'm going to explode anytime.

I ask you all to give me a hand. I'm afraid to talk about this to anyone I know, my T included.

Thanks for listening.
Hugs
Annie