Still trying to define what about my childhood that has set my view of chores as things to be avoided. I always did have a messy room and my parents threatened punishment but never carried through so I guess I learned there were no consequences...

but...

I did not used to be at this level of dysfunction. I was quite successful and respected in my job until my mental illness precluded me from working.

It has gotten way out of control now. I had a water leak and would not call a plumber to fix it for over a year until it finally became so bad that we could no longer take showers.

I stopped by flylady.com this evening. I tried that a year ago but got annoyed at the numerous e-mails and got very little motivation to change.

In the beginning baby steps I found: <font color="blue">I know that you have become overwhelmed by your home and the chaos that you have been living in. ... your home did not get this way overnight and it is not going to get clean in a day. ... your home did not get this way overnight and it is not going to get clean in a day."</font>

I also liked this idea:

<font color="blue">What is a 5 minute Room Rescue?
This is a reminder to spend just 5 minutes clearing a path in your worst room. You know this area of your home: the place you would never allow anyone to see. Just 5 minutes a day for the next 27 days and you will have a place you can be proud to take anyone.</font>

But then rather than go clean my sink like flylady said to do as a first task I sat. And continued to sit.

Then I found this support group: http://groups.google.com/group/alt.r....procrastinate

I think about changing and how I would like to be alot different but actual activity to meet those goals are not happening.