Hah, if that were true, about fighting with your dad being the root of all this, we'd all be wearing diapers. I wasn't suggesting that you go to a T specifically to talk about your fetish, though, but to talk about your whole identity and learning to be comfortable with not only it, but who you are as a person. You can also be very firm about not wanting to be on medications, and since you're not hurting anyone, they have to respect that.

My thinking along the lines of being taken care of versus taking care of everyone else.. well, it can get exhausting! Trying to take care of everyone and their brother and solving all the problems in the whole world. Maybe it's just a subconscious breather, a moment to relax, and not feel pressured, by yourself or anyone else, to take care of everyone. Almost like a safe spot to be yourself or a security blanket of sorts? This is clearly just a guess on my part, and since I don't really know you, I could be way off base, especially since you yourself don't think that that's what it is.

I really wish I had better advice. I'm sorry I can't be more help. I don't know if you noticed, but we have a forum dealing with sexual issues (I can't remember the exact name... Something to do with sex and gender...). You could try talking about it there; you might have better luck.