I'm always very nervous and embarrassed to start with. I try and smile at t but can't manage much more than that really. I've had therapists in the past who think that it is my job to provide the subject matter / direction for the session and they will sit there in silence until I come up with something. That can be really very painful and usually that strategy ends badly with them terminating me because they think I don't really want therapy.

Some others have sort of been of the same mindset but they have taken a little more pity on me so they are willing to attempt to help me get started. Some attempt to engage me in small talk at the beginning... Some questions when they see me floundering... Can help me get it out.

My current t is very directive. Not in an over-powering bad way. I think I could raise whatever if I wanted to. But I don't really... And he is happy to direct the sessions and to ask me questions about stuff and such. In fact... It is getting to the point (for the first time in my life) where I actually want to say 'hey! I want to talk about this!' and take some of the responsibility for the direction myself. So that is progress for me.

:-)