Apologies about the long, rambling post...but I'm getting more and more scared and my thoughts are racing and difficult to pin down.

The bigger social media gets, the more terrified I become...I can't stand the thought of social media and being spied on more than I already do. But now I can't even have a youtube account without having a google+ account (didn't realize until today that google+ was really a social networking site).

And I have to have my name online because of what I do...I have my own personal website. I'm at least taking my picture down so people don't know who I am except by name only.

The very difficult thing to explain is that if I end up doing what I want to do, I would become famous. But there's a huge difference between being famous and being looked up online and being anyone else and being looked up online. When you're famous you can have a separate "persona" that you use when performing or appearing anywhere and the average person won't actually know you, unlike social networks like Facebook, where the person on the page is YOU. That's terrifying to me, especially when we all know that the government (the US government at least) is using all this information to spy on us.

My problem, other than the fear that tomorrow we will live in the world of "1984" and I literally will not be able to have a single thought without being shot in the head in the middle of the night...or even worse, have what happens in the last third of the book happen to me. I cannot speak of the horror that is our future....that is my future because I would be one that would disappear. Perhaps I will for saying that...I'm sure they can track who I am.

But even besides all of that...even if we're safe for now...how do I get what I want out of life if you need to use social networks, youtube, etc. to communicate with anyone?

How do I keep a website up to promote my work (and maybe others in the future) and still feel safe?
How do I start/promote a band in this world? Do I start accounts as my "persona" instead of as me as a real person? Will that make me disappear as a real person or split into two sides that I can't necessarily control? And if they want to spy on me, they're still spying on me, even if it isn't really me because it's still my physical body. And they can still tie the physical body to the persona!

How do I keep the "job" that I have (if you can call it that) when I'm required to use Facebook, youtube, Twitter, etc. etc.? How? I don't get all the information and I can't do what's asked of me because against my personal morals. But how do you explain that in a resignation letter?

All of this—smart phones, social media, the Cloud...this is normal to other people. How can I adequately provide for myself and survive in this world without the world being involved in my PRIVATE business? How do I fully participate without social media? Do I just do the parts of my "job" that don't involve social media and not bother to do the other things?

I don't know what to do...but I'm just so terrified. I've often wondered if I'm even safe on here...