I was able to get in to see the doctor anyway today. He increased my Abilify from 20mg to 30mg.

I feel the struggle of obedience, and when I can't obey my God like I want to that's when I feel that choosing to not be obedient is like making a decision in the fork in the road, defining who I am totally. In otherwords, I am either black or white, good or evil. I don't allow shades of grey to define me, and I'm not sure why.