I can't tell if i'm having urges or ideation. But I can literally feel the desire to do it in my chest and it's almost making me light headed. Hasn't been this prominent in my brain space in a while. I don't feel like I can't resist it, but i'm not really enjoying these physical reactions my body is having to not doing it. Can't win for losing I guess.

Anyways, keeping my mood up - so that's always good.