Lost Lonely,
I know you will beat this!! I have had some good experiences with hotlines. I have called 1800 suicide and the guy that I spoke with was so awesome that he continued to call me back numerous times for a few months to chat and make sure that I was feeling well.
If they sense you are in immediate danger they will suggest going to a hospital but they do not force anything. They are very big on letting you regain personal control over a matter.

Stay strong hun,
Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>