I feel so crappy about moaning all the time, but I can't stop it.
I feel like I'm always waiting for someone to tell me what to do next, because I guess that's what I've been used to.
For example, at school, I always needed someone next to me to tell me what to do because I would've been too distracted, daydreaming about becoming a superhero or something stupid like that, to pay attention to anything going on. Throughout my life I've always had at least one person next to me telling me what to do next.
I've never had someone push me in the right direction exactly, just someone there to give me ideas or something, so now I have no one to tell me and I just feel so lost. I've no idea in which direction to take, where I should be going, or what I should be doing.
It distresses me so much. I cry about it sometimes, because I feel like my life is going nowhere and probably never will. I see all these talented people everywhere and I get so jealous and envious and then I'll feel even worse. I'm not worth being here, what's the point in having a life when I can't do anything with it. It's just so hopeless. I feel more dead than anything, I feel like a lost soul.
A lost soul that nobody cares about.