((Red Panda)),

You need to stop worrying about this guy's feelings and take care of "yourself". This "is" your flat and his being there is too much for you.

Hun, you have to give yourself "strict" boundaries so you don't allow people to invade your space and get used to using you as some kind of stepping stone for "themselves". The only one that can do this for "you" is "you" you know.

He needs to get his highschool graduation certificate and at the most once he gets that he can send in job applications or set up some interviews or specific places to go job hunting. He can do this for two days and one night. You are not a flop house and if you don't make that clear, he "will" take advantage and that is not setting good boundaries for yourself.

So he has visited and hopefully looked around the area beyond just your flat. If not then he is just "flopping" and that is "unacceptable". You have to be careful about "being too nice" because you open doors for people to take advantage and not respect your boundaries when you are "too giving".

I learned this years ago as I had an apartment that was only one big room a bathroom and a very small kitchen area. I allowed a friend to stay with me and she increasingly took more and more advantage and I began to come home to her in a bed we shared with some guy and I ended up sleeping in my car. I went on a trip to Florida and came back and the entire apartment was locked up by the landlord because she took my money to pay, but didn't and she even took some of my clothes too. Never again, I lost that apartment because I was just "too nice".

OE