I definitely think you should find a therapist. Therapists can provide you support and help you figure out how to get better--when you are ready. My T told me this week that we didn't have to work on my ED if I didn't want to. She probably observed how nervous it made me. I chose to talk about it and open up gradually. I think if you can find a good therapist whom you can trust and who is sensitive to your needs for therapy then you will be able to open up and get some help.