@ToeJam: I am cutting myself off from the whole group now, and of course stopping drinking.
@IndieVisible: Yes, we smoked hash. We all have done that in past, along with alcohol. Never had any extreme effect on me prior to this. Not to excuse its future use - which is off the cards now.

I haven't faced any group of friends after from that day after this. Except for talking with her for a short while.

I am not sure why I am even posting here - not to rationalize or ask for consolation - I accept full responsibility and just hope that she's all right. It's just that it lingers in my head all day long, tried taking a break from college and head home. That didn't work out for some reason.

I just can't trust myself now - it wasn't rape or something - but I transgressed even a bit - which has never ever happened before - the thought of which is stuck in my head. Is repeated posting about all this even healthy?