Miss, tends to be more common, in the Northeast. But, if someone with a southern drawl, addressed me, as Ma-am, I wouldn't take offense.

I am with you in the category of being referred to as 'young lady'. I take it as a compliment, that I still appear 'young'

I would be offended by "young lady" etc because I've noticed, especially at doctor's offices, it is affectionate but in a tongue-in-cheek way...like saying "hey there slim" to a fat guy. Same idea. Not flattering.