I met Fred (name changed) 15 years ago. We both were single and fell madly in love. (There's a 13 year age difference me being the older.) The 2 years we were together was magical! His parents were happy that he was with an older lady. I was quickly approaching 40 and had decided I didn't want children -- however he did - so he left. We remained friends and he would try to come back - saying he'd made the worst mistake of his life. I never let him come back - I knew he wanted a family of his own and would regret my not allowing that to happen.

Years pass - we stay in contact via email and phone. He marries - it last less than a year and he marries again 2 years later (is still married today). I married - it lasted 5 years.

During this time we had remained friends - still talking only through email. Nothing sexual -- just friends talking about life. Two years ago I received and email from him telling me he needed to cut off all communication with me. I was furious!!! Two years pass and a few times during those years he reached out via email to me -- I cut him down and told him to leave me alone.

This May he emailed again and this time was different - he needed someone to talk to. So I replied and we've been talking ever since. I've found out over the past 5 months that his wife made him send the email to me. He says those two years without me in his life were miserable. We started out just talking via email - then later met at a local park. The sparks immediately flew and we kissed and held each other. We both confessed to each other that we had never stopped loving each other. We don't have just a physical attraction for each other - however the sex is incredible - we have a soul connection.

He says that he still loves his wife (they have no children - after they married she found out she was unable) but that she always wants him to change. He is such a different person than the one I knew 15 years ago. She was a 40 year old virgin when they married - he isn't allowed to drink in the house, use any curse words and he says they never have sex because she doesn't really know how. Oh -- and they teach in the same school -- so he's around her all day. He said he just couldn't find his happy self anymore.

A month ago I started feeling like I was being used: for sex and to help him find his happy self again. I told him that I wouldn't be used to help him stay in a bad marriage. But that if he wanted to "come home" (those are his words about my home) the door was open.

I am really torn about what to do in this relationship. My heart is madly in love with him! But my brain says all that's going to happen is I'll wind up being hurt.

I would appreciate any and all opinions.