Bonnie and Indie, In a perfect world that is exactly what I should do. But we are not in a perfect world. He loves nothing but work. He has no hobbies, he has no life outside of work. I wish there were something he cherrished. But there just isn't.

HEALING, your questions next. You make some good points and ask some good questions.

Does he want to spend quality time doing something.... No. Is he planning something special in place of electronics.....No. What does he do after he gets home from work? He unloads the truck, goes to church and leaves me here with a kid who needs sleep in order to get up in time for school, He goes to sleep fairly early and I am a night owl.

What brought this on? His dislike of the computer and multiple conversations in t about him not giving me the freedom to use the computer. Now instead of saying something to me about it, he stands and looks over my shoulder and reads what I am writing or watches what I am doing. HE has told me why don't you talk to me about the same things u talk to people on the computer about. So I have told him, u wanna hear more about the repercussions of rape, lets talk about the weather, or how about we talk about home schooling the kids. He doesn't want to talk about that kinda stuff.

We have issues relating to each other because of his past abusive ways, and my already squid since of saftey and relating due to rape and CSA. I don't want to talk. He doesn't talk and carry on conversation, he plays fifty questions and I end up triggered and feel like I am falling apart.

I did offer to turn the computer off when he gets home reguardlesss of what he does with his evenings. From 5:00 pm until what ever time I get up in the morning or the kids get up. But that was not compliant enough. He wanted NO COMPUTER AT ALL for a month, even in the day time when he is not here.

Why is he concerned he is being ignored? Because I have found an outlet outside of him. And he wants my happiness to come from him I suppose. He is jealous, and has trust issues, though I didn't do anything wrong. He feels threatened by the fact that I have relationships outside of thee 4 walls. I try very hard to not have conversations with males, I can kinda understand where that would be a betrayal, but with females, come on.

What is the end goal? It is to make me and the kids less reliant on technology. My/our kids already have the bare minimum of electronic devices. We have a 13 yr old and a 15 yr old and a 6 yr old. The 13 yr old has an I pod, and can text from it. Some kind of free app lets him do this. He has a kindle which he never uses. The 15 yr old is like me. He is kinda a hermit. He is home schooled and gets his social interaction from the computer and forums using the kindle. He uses a gaming forum in particular. He uses it for 30 min in the morning, and 30 minutes mid day. Then in the afternoons after dark, just how ever much. He has a cell phone but no friends, so he never uses it. He used the computer to write stories and draw stuff.

We have over the air TV, not cable or satellite, so it is incredibly boring. H will not play cards with us, he will not play monopoly, he will not watch TV w/ us when we do, because it is not the kind of show he likes.

I think it is mostly a control issue. He is losing control over me, as I realize how controlling and abusive he is/was. He is doing all he can to control something, anything.