Be Here Now

there are no guarantees that you will wake up tomorrow. nothing can assure that you will be safe from harm at any time. there is no need to wait for tomorrow to start working on living without fear.

when i look back on my life, i see where i have survived horrific things. i have actually 'recovered' several times from being shattered. things now are not so hot, either, but i don't care very much. i focus on this breath, this chair, this keyboard, this computer, this moment, and you.

perhaps just having one thing on my mind, and that being in the present, knowing that memories are chemical tracks in my brain, is an extraordinary state of mind. but i didn't get here in a day. i have spent 9 years, working every day towards this goal, intentional work for 2 to 5 hours a day. i have paid the price in money for the tools to support me in my efforts.

i have "high self esteem" from being successful. and i can tell you that this is a LOOOOOOOOOONG way from where i started 22 yrs ago after massive brain damage from psych meds.

SO, if you want to be able to live in this world with some peace of mind, and some dignity, you better start work on it NOW. practice changing your thoughts, your feelings, your breathing, and your heart rate. change your diet. get your sleep. take care of yourself. and BE KIND. be kind to yourself, and be kind to others. every day be a little more the person you wish to be, every chance you get, and make those chances happen.

and then, stop asking WHY? Why ME? and all those unanswerable questions that just get you all worked up. let fear subside. let anger go without being acted out. grieve if you must, but don't let it stop you from understanding that NOW is the only time you have to change.

i hope this doesn't sound like a lecture, a rant, or a rave. i hope you can find something in what i've said that will lead you to the path of inner peace. i hope the very best for you~

Gus