Thank you all for your feedback.

I have started seriously looking for another job and have been to a few agencies for interviews. I can't wait for the day I can get up knowing I don't have to come here anymore. Don't have to sit in traffic, don't have to wish my hours and days away. But yes, I need the money as I have nobody that I can depend on.

What makes me angry is that I knew all my work was up to date when I went on sick leave. And I don't have the type of work where the company will come to a stand-still if I am not there. Which could also be causing some of the feelings I have. I feel like I have no purpose here.

I dunno, this whole thing has just made me so bitter and desperate to get out of here.

Some days are worse than others, and on days like today, when I feel so run down I really wish I could stay at home just to feel a bit better. But now I don't have that option. It's stressful to the point where you are scared what you eat in case you get food poisoning because you know that you will have to go to work regardless of how bad you feel. It has made me paranoid and on edge. Always trying to prevent something from going wrong. But how do you prevent yourself from getting sick? How can you predict something like that???