I've been single for a while and I find it hard to allow myself to become interested or connected with someone to any real depth, probably due to failed relationships in the past. The past year or two have been strange for me because I've had people from past relationships come back to me on a friendship level and during these times, the past has come up as well as honesty about things that I never knew happened in the past, which would have crushed me emotionally then and it kind of crushes me emotionally now. Although these relationships failed, I always held dearly the good moments, where I thought I was being loved as much as I was loving them. Instead, I discovered that there had been other women involved with them at the same time (happened in more than one long term relationship apparently) and I feel as though many years of my life and what I considered precious memories were just an illusion created by someone manipulating me for their own selfish needs. I feel hurt and I'm having trouble understanding what is real in the world anymore. I'm having trouble trusting anyone and trouble trusting my own self and my own judgement. It is a scary and horrible feeling. I feel lost. Can anyone relate?