had a couple weeks of feeling like an actual semi-productive human being. and now i'm right back to the place i always end up...staying up all night, getting nothing done, eating crappy food, wondering what happened to those 16 hours of the day that i could've used for some purpose other than being a depressed lump.

i guess even though i've been depressed for 6-7 years or maybe much, much longer, i'm still incapable of accepting that i am depressed and that it will just wear me down eventually no matter how hard i try to fight it. i guess i'm just stubborn.