Coincidentally I just happened to log in for the first time in a while and see this. I feel exactly the same way. I have plenty of people in my life I could probably befriend a lot more, but I choose not to get closer to them. I'm often invited to hang out with others, but choose not to. I rationalize by saying I have to work work work, but then I simply go home and get depressed about not having friends....

I was also bullied a lot when I was young, and I have to imagine this has a lot to do with it. I think fundamentally I just don't trust people. It's been over a decade since I was last teased or ridiculed by anyone, but I'm still absolutely afraid of it happening again. Because of this, I have intense feelings of isolation and loneliness. And to make it worse, my coping mechanism is to shield myself with arrogance and elitism--incessantly trying to appear more intelligent than everyone around me. In actuality, I feel incredibly socially inferior and envious.