Yep, i have exactly the same feelings. I've been doing different CBT stuff but , for me , it doesn't do much good. I believe much more in positivity. Thinking positively, if you can. ( ok which i guess is an aspect of CBT). If you you can't then there's a problem. Then i think you need to be around postive people and ideally have someone positive come into your life to make you feel special, to make life seem worth living, to spark you into feeling there is a future, to give you something to hold onto ( literallly and metaphorically). Those with friends or partners are lucky, maybe thats enough. For those of us, like me, without either it is very , very hard. I wish you well. You can message me and we can chat . Always willing to make new friends.