Miguel’s mom, I guess I just don’t won’t what else to do. People aren’t going to change and I can’t change overnight to make myself at peace with what this world is like. I do hang out with people one on one on a regular basis. I think that next weekend, I’m going to go to an academic reading by myself instead of going to the ones that my friends hold. I just don’t want to go and see these people who hurt me and don’t value me and then remember that I’m different and go home and cry. I often study anthropology and ethics. Though I recognize that people have cultural differences, I believe in objective moral values.

I try to cut people slack for their moral shortcomings. I’m trying not to think of the guy who recently hurt me a lot as heinous because his dad did just die. However, what he did was still wrong and he should be held accountable for it. I take credit for my moral shortcomings, even under times of distress. I know myself very well and what is important to me. I just don’t think that I fit in anywhere. The society in which I am most aquatinted with here has most of the same values as I do, and I still don’t feel like I fit. I’m not trying to complain, but I seriously don’t know what else I can do. I keep giving people chances and they keep screwing me over and they are happy and I am not. So why not disengage? Maybe they will miss me and reflect on themselves and how they treat others? Who knows?

My GAD totally acts up when I’m depressed. I’ll just ride this one through, I guess :/