I just went thru this with a long term friend of mine - 28 yr friendship - she knows all my triggers and sometimes she was just plain mean - using what I had told her and my triggers to hurt me. I was so used to it I didn't even realize it was happening. I just knew that I felt bad.

A true friend DOESN"T do that to you.

Well after discussing it a full year in therapy - I gradually confronted my friend - our relationship has changed. She became aware of what she was doing and I kept pointing out that I would tolerated it.

We still have our friendship - the dynamics are very different.

Because we were more sisters than friends - it was worth the effort on both of our parts to salvage the friendship. -- She having no immediate family (other than her husband) and me either.

I wouldn't recommed the "working it out" part for every friendship - believe me.... so if one of your friends is abusing you - I would basically say run the other way!