I completely understand. Its so hard anymore not to do ANY SI. When I don't, even for a day or two, I feel so empty and feel absolutely nothing. On those days, I feel like it doesn't matter if I die.

But you know what? I hate living with eternal guilt over my SI too! I just keep telling myself that stopping SI will allow me to feel on my own, and that helps me hold on a bit longer.

I've also been trying to "wean" myself off of cutting by doing less deep ones, and then only shallow, and now I'm only allowing small, shallow cuts...and then only if I absolutely need to.

Be safe, Useless Me. I really care about you and definitely want you to feel better!