We see each other occasionally - we talk, have a beer or two, and hug and sometimes a kiss - mainly we talk. We talk via email every day - sometimes hundreds of emails a day.

Yes - I've told him that when we were having sex I felt like a *****. Told him no more until he can come to my bed without baggage and stay. He knows how much I love him and that the door is always open to him. I've also told him that they things he needs in his marriage (sex, fun, communication) he needs to get from his wife and friends. Only problem -- his friends have all left him because of her.

It's hard when I know he's having a down day to not reach out to him - but I just wind up feeling used again.

I asked him the other day if he had any guilt regarding our relationship (the wife forbids him to have any communication with me) and he said "In a way I do. Because it's not out in the open. I know I probably should more than I do But in a way I don't because I love you. "

I honestly believe he loves me. It's just hard knowing that the person you love is in the arms of someone else - and that someone else is his wife.