I know the feeling. I'm am manic right now and I feel like a caged animal. I have been on Paxil for 15 plus years. I am very sensitive to medicine and my Dr. said to try this first. It helps with the ups and downs and the panic and anxiety. I also have Xanex to take if I really need it. I only take 1/4 to 1/2 at a time or I'll be out for at least a day. I take 20 to 30 mg of Paxil. If I take more I get migraines. I also have physical problems that are out of my control most of the time. I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I hope you find peace soon! 
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"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water!" Eleanor Roosevelt
"Each of us is completely different from the other, and yet we judge ourselves and others as if we are all the same." Gruvingal
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