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Old Oct 19, 2013, 12:41 AM
Calicoe 99 Calicoe 99 is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: Busan, South Korea
Posts: 3
Hello good people, I'm new here, and I want to thank you for taking the time to read my topic. I seriously need perspective.

I have a roommate with whom I have been sharing my apartment now for about 2 months. We have a lot in common, share cooking, go out, and talk about a lot of personal stuff - basically, becoming friends, to an extent. she has shared her own personal stories of her background and I have shared some of my own.

At any rate, we were familiar and comfortable enough, that a really tough story came up for me last night while we were socializing with another new friend, who is also pretty cool.

I guess I felt comfortable enough and safe enough to share a story of how I was date raped long, long ago as a teenager, and then recently again about 5 years ago as an adult. It just came up, and is not something that I talk about often at all. In fact, I hadn't talked about it to hardly anyone, and definitely not for at least 5 years, and even decades.

I was removed and distant enough that it wasn't overly emotional, but it came up and I needed to talk it out. Of course, the subject is uncomfortable, but maybe I erroneously assumed that it was safe to bring it up around strong female friends.

The roommate was trying to limit what and how long I should talk about it, and wanted to cut me off after the first story, but I need to talk and kept going. She then told me that I should have stopped, and needed to respect boundaries.

I was offended, and after a confrontation, I left. The new friend followed me down stairs, and I started crying, and felt terrible. It felt worse than the actual story I was telling. I was a bit emotionally fragile for the rest of the night, and I haven't talked to my roommate since, except for a brief text this morning.

She made me feel somehow like I had violated her, when all I thought I was doing was talking about something difficult that happened to me years ago, in what I though was a safe and comfortable setting.

So, here I am, to here your perspective on the matter.

Thanks so much for reading.
Hugs from:
Travelinglady