This could be my last night at the apartment. I am just so afraid of not having enough money. I don't believe that I'd last the month of July and have much money left over at the end. I've been taking all my things and putting most of it in storage. I'm not sure yet if I'll stay in my car, go camping someplace cheap (if I can find one around here), or sleep by day under the sun. There are a few things I need to figure out more. I have mixed feelings about this homelessness. I might be able to stay at the apartment for two more weeks, but I really don't know. It's hard to really know. I want to make another run back home to pack more in the car and get to storage before chat tonight. I have so much to do, plus look for a new job--despite being afraid and not knowing what to do about that either. I think I might call ORS and try to get a new caseworker. My old one was trying to get too personal with me. I was referred to him/ORS because of my bad knees. I'll tell the new caseworker it's for physical and emotional disability--arthritis and PTSD. This mood stuff with the jobs and my kids, the PTSD, and all of life, is seriously affecting me looking for work. That should be enough to get some new help with everything. I just need to get brave to call and look up the number. I'm not even sure if I could work full-time right now with all the stress I've been having lately. I think I'd do better doing something part-time and simple. But, I also don't want to feel in a rut and stuck doing that. I'd love to go back to school and get a "real job".