this is different .like before.

TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER for thoughts of SI







I finely fell asleep tonight but then woke up with panic and spinning thoughts.(gee no surprise there)anyway as my thoughts slowed down I seem to have settled on one thought of SI. it is very specific .I want to severely burn my finger tips. I cant get the thought out of my head .i don't understand why.it doesn't belong to anything. it seems to be more of a compulsion then anything. my SI is usually a reaction. it is coping mechanism. it has a purpose.

this thought is very specific . it makes no real sense at all .just a strong thought that this is something I need to do. again it isn't connected to anything. my head is screaming this is ridiculous . it is nothing ,forget about it, and then this thought of pleading to just do it. it wont go away. I know I am not coming even slightly close to being able to say what is going on but this thought scares me to death and I don't understand it .it is differnt