I've been wondering for a while whether it wouldn't be better for you to see a T who does PDT, possibly combined with CBT, rather than a very strictly CBT oriented therapist. Some CBT therapists do go into the underlying reasons for behaviours, but others seem to mostly just focus on "change this behaviour and your mood will follow." Which really works for some people, but it doesn't for everybody.

Your T appears to be a pretty good T in many ways, but I'm not sure he's really the ideal T for you.

And you are not the problem. Definitely not. You're not totally broken, or unhelpable, or any of those things. You just need to find the right person to help you.