This past week I have been sleeping like 3 or 4 hours a night. Racing around, doing child care for my daughter, working like crazy, working into the night every night. Yesterday I totally crashed. I didn't eat all day, finally met my wife at night, we were supposed to eat, but instead went to this party. At the party I drank and smoked which is bad for my bp, and then I spiraled into this insane black mania. Ended up getting into an explosive fight with my wife, and smashing two bottles of wine on the street. I was chanting that I wanted to kill myself. AH!!! So out of control. I woke up in the middle of the night snapped out of it, and it was as though I had been possessed by a demon or something. This morning I was shakey, mixed moods, crying one minute, laughing the next, just all over the place, and now I feel fine, it's as though the entire episode was a dream.

I have just been diagnosed bp and I am not yet medicated on mood stabilizers? Will medication help me?

What do you guys think. I am so ashamed for being so violent and so out of control and destructive...

Please give me any advice you have to give!
MT