I get very frustrated with not being able to remember a lot of what happened as well (not just abuse, but my entire life history, I guess). Professionals tell me that the mind keeps things hidden until you are strong enough to handle it. I know they're trying to help, but I always hate getting that answer.

I wish that I could do hypnotherapy or something else that would help me switch in front of my t so that we can get information out and deal with it all. He refuses to do it, as he wants to emphasize co consciousness, and that me switching 'on demand' would make co-c more difficult to achieve. He wants me to learn to communicate with and help all the parts heal as we go forward, but I get very overwhelmed when thinking about it in that way. I can understand where he is coming from, but it is frustrating for me.

If your t feels that you don't have the coping skills, perhaps putting more focus on getting your t to help you develop and practice more coping skills? That way you could get them on board sooner, and also learn some helpful skills in the process.