Are you sure there isn't anyone else you could see for support? It sounds like you need the support in person. Maybe if you talked to the people at the IVF clinic they could help to arrange something or refer you somewhere that you could afford? I used to work in a job where I dealt with a lot of people going through IVF. There were so many people that were bravely struggling with the whole process. I know that I'd find it incredibly difficult as well.

But, it's not right to keep getting that support from someone who is also harming you. Therapy is not supposed to be like that.

So no great advice from me, but I sort of understand how tough it is to move on from a therapist before you're ready. My therapist started getting really angry with me last year. Some of the things she said hurt me very deeply and they came as quite shock because I'd worked with her for three and a half years before then, and she'd always been pretty perfect. I felt so lucky. I was one of the lucky ones because my therapist was so right for me. She is the first and only person I recall feeling attached to. I've lost the source of funding that helps me to pay for my sessions. My therapist doesn't seem willing to help me fight to maintain the funding. She suggested winding down. Anyway, not my idea of fun. I've had the constant support for nearly five years, and suddenly I might have nothing. My therapist lowered the cost of my sessions for me, and now my only option would be low cost counselling for 6 sessions.

It will be hard, but I do think you can do it. Is talking to your husband definitely not an option? I know that sometimes even when I'm struggling with something enormously, I can still talk and take comfort from someone else, even if they are struggling just as much.