You are describing a normal night for me before I got properly diagnosed and on the right meds. Before that my nights of drinking would result in all kinds of crazy shenanigans. Once my husband and I got in a huge fight. He stormed out and I was trying to relax so I lit candles all over the house including this huge candelabra and then I got really drunk and passed out. When he returned home there was one candle that was too close to the wall and it was starting to get really smoky.

Sadly it still took many more crazy nights like that before I got the help I needed. The meds and therapy helped so much, but eventually I also had to give up alcohol completely. It was not easy. I needed the help of a recovery group to do it, but it has been the best thing I have ever done. I am a different person because of all these things.

You are in the right place. Get the help you need and you will be amazed how different your life will be.....not perfect.....but better....way better.