I can only hope that you can find a way, to figure out how to gain your independence. It's such a quagmire, and I truly get that. It's tough, when we start seeing the abuses, the power struggles, control, everything for what it is, but to be stuck, in financial dependence on another.

Of course, you cannot afford before and after school care. And frankly, why shouldn't you, at least now, I'd assume, your oldest, can he be left home alone--of age? for that?--for a couple hours, to find something, anything with mothers hours and instead of it being 'our' money, it's your own bank account. As, I am sure you know, and I certainly know, how greatly important adult interaction is for moms who have been home for any length of time with children.

I get that at some point, we've all made choices years ago, it's just so very tough when dealing with an inflexible thinking spouse to say, listen, how I felt x# of years ago, is not where I am right now.