Claire,

First off what you just wrote isn't stupid at all. I can definitely relate.

I lost my older brother several years ago and it took a few years for the shock to wear off. It varies from person to person.

Not long after he crossed over I went on a school trip to New Orleans it was awesome and a mistake at times. One day on the trip I completely forgot that my brother was no longer here, the day felt like any other day. It was a free hour or two where we were allowed to go shopping for gifts for family and friends. I got so excited when I saw this pimp jacket as my brother was very into that stuff. For several minutes or half an hour I was set on buying it, until it clicked in my head that he was gone. I was devastated. Heat crushed thankfully had support of my fellow classmates.

Now even many years later I still go through phrases of shock and denial. Grief is a lifelong process.

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and hope you find support here and through your friends and family.

Thanks for sharing

R