I've been with her since January, and have loved having her until recently. I think she may have changed styles recently, going more cbt based than before, and I am taking tha as a constant "you're not good enough" message, instead of what it's probably intended as.

I have no idea why Lucy was so upset, as we haven't even brought her up. I think she was feeling my anger and took it upon herself to 'own' it. Emotions that I find difficult to feel/express seem to be a trigger for switching for me. I wouldn't let H out because I didn't want her to be hurt again until I could make sure that my T understood.

I am planning on writing a letter to her so that I can say everything i need to, without being distracted by being in her office. My problem is that I don't realize how triggered I am in sessions until after I leave. Then I get overwhelmed (this is a pattern for me with all my treatment providers).

I don't feel comfortable making 'acceptable/not acceptable' rules for us because I have many issues based on this type of rules system already. there are already much to high expectations of us, from us. I was able to take the letter Lucy wrote and turn it into I statements, so at least the important points can be shared and won't be innapropriate.

I need to learn better ways of being angry, and ways of being okay to be angry, without letting it take over. It's just difficult