I know I should bring it up, but I know he's going to want me to go talk to someone, and I HATE talking to Drs or Ts, it always feel so god damn awkward and self indulgent, I did it twice a few years ago, and by the second appointment she wanted to put me on meds, it was all just so fast, like a quick fix ******** thing; it's really turned me off that.
I can deal with opening up on here because I don't have to vocalise anything, when I have to physically SAY what's going on in my mind I just freeze up and can't put anything into words, I hate hearing everything actually come out of my mouth.
I know it's stupid, but it's the reason I've never been able to talk about this stuff, even when I was called out on it by my dr when he was looking at my wrist when I buggered it up, and he pulled my sleeve up further than I was expecting. He asked me if I wanted to talk about it and all I could say was "No."