Hi....idk the answers for you, but I do know I'm getting some answers from understanding boundaries and how to assert them for protection. It could be (if you are in T), from your formative years that a pattern developed...maybe an overbearing parent or relative, an authority figure, someone you respected and you needed their approval. Just a suggestion....esp. if it becomes a pattern and, as you say, you ruminate over it. I did that today after something happened and I didn't want to go out anyway, but I did meet a nice person in a store. Good luck! ,

Help...................