I have control over the child parts more than I used to. My T used to say "your parts are running the show". My SELF is supposed to be in charge. But she is my T and says "all parts are welcome" and she accepts all of them. She has never stopped me from telling her how a part feels. That's the way IFS works.

However, I want to clarify that my T NEVER brought her divorce into the sessions. I figured it out and asked her. She has been absolutely professional about not letting it interfere with her work. If I hadn't been so perceptive, I probably wouldn't know, even now, though she said she was going to tell me at some point.

It's triggering to think about. Maybe it's to do with my father having lady friends after my Mom passed away--feeling disappointed or let down. It feels like it's some kind of transference but I'm not sure what. My T disappointed me, and that has to be transference, because what difference could it make? I wrote in my poem to her that "I used to think you're perfect......." When she read it, she laughed. I assume she was thinking how imperfect she is, while I still kind of idolize her. The child part still wants her to be Mommy, and still wants to part of an intact family--hers. But she doesn't have that anymore.

I think this is therapy stuff--not for debating in this thread. If I have feelings about her divorce, I may have to tell her. I don't even want to use that word with her. And I don't like to say "your H" or "your exH". I will ask her first if it's all right to talk about.