Hello everyone,

I don't know what's going on with me exactly. Every fall, I feel like I'm on the verge of committing suicide. (I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder a while back.. i'm starting to think, I'm more depressed than Bipolar) I can't stop feeling like this. I constantly feel shaky(Emotionally) and I feel bad all the year around but it's just dring fall\winter, I become very down.. and very suicidal. I also don't have a boyfriend(this makes me really bitter) and I have very few friends. When I was in my late teens, I got raped. (It was also sometime in fall) I don't know if that's also related to my suicidal thoughts or not (I've been having these thoughts even before I got raped.) I don't know what is the exact cause of my suicidal thoughts. Please help. I can't afford to go to a therapist right now (financially) and I'm not on any meds.(I don't want to be.) I just want to be able to solve my problems on my own.