Now don't judge me, but sometimes I can't help but feel like I need to go through his phone texts or facebook conversations. He tends to sugar coat things, and tell me what I need to hear even If it means lying to my face, So every now and then I see who he is talking to, and what has been said about me. He told our friend that The whole reason he doesn't talk to a past friends (who has treated us both like crap) is because I won't let him or I will break up with him. When he's told me HE DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO HER, especially if she doesn't apologize, which never has or probably will. He has done things that are just rude (like I said in my previous post... texting someone naked he used to hook up with while in bed naked) I feel a little guilty every time I do It but I need to know whats going on in his head, because half of the time I really don't feel like he's being honest about It. I know his password, and sometimes he acts sketchy. Like I will walk in the room, and he will close the conversation, or window.

I know this kind of behavior Is a tad crazy but I can't help myself. I have had ex boyfriend say horrible things behind my back to other people, or other people saying mean and nasty things and them not sticking up for me. I guess I am sort of blueprinting. It's just so hard for me trust him, and I don't know why. I guess maybe It's thats before and the past he has shown a lot of disregard for how I feel, and I over think things. I would rather know then not know and drive myself crazy? Does anyone else have this problem ? I mean he has never cheated on me that I am aware of, and he has read my msgs to other people, or conversations over my shoulders, and has even read my posts on here. I'm not sure If I should stop doing It and let my suspicion drive me crazy, or keep doing It. URGH