Hello ToeJam, I too doubt my thoughts and indeed my actions at times. One question that does bother me the most if I am completely honest is: Am I getting worse? With that question I also ask: If I am, will I decend into complete madness and not even know it. Dont ever feel bad about calling the emergency services, that's what they are there for. If you are thinking about taking your own life, that is an emergency don't you think. I try to live in the moment and not think about tomorrow.That can be very depressing. Some days I can do this but most days I cant. Best wishes.