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I think you can find a therapist who is more nurturing than the current one, but that doesn't encourage so much regression as the old one (regression as in seeking and receiving reassurance 24/7, I believe this can maintain someone at a very young age, emotionally).
It may seem counterintuitive, but I think in some ways your old T (unintentionally) encouraged your abandonment fears. She didn't give you space between sessions to learn to trust that when someone you are attached to (friends, family, boyfriends) is not with you, they have not abandoned you. Since she was always 'with' you, there was no way to learn this essential skill. And since others are not and cannot be there for you and reassure you in this idealized manner, I imagine that, in comparison with the T, it may feel that everyone else is abandoning you. In the end, for various reasons, the therapy worsens the abandonment issues it was supposed to heal.
Resilience comes from managing your mood and fears and other things on your own. The therapist needs to help with this, but if they manage these things *for* you, you never learn to do so yourself. Resilience is what will help you get through real life, to be able to count on yourself, trust in your abilities (and from there, trust others).
People talk about 're-parenting' in therapy -this can be healing, it can also go very wrong. One way it can go wrong is if the T doesn't allow the patient to grow, to handle things on their own (over time)
I think this dependence, often need for reassurance, etc. is a necessary *stage* in some therapies, but what if the therapy gets stuck at that stage, because of the lack of skills and/or willingness to let go on the part of the therapist?
And, I'm sorry, but I think some therapists who keep their patients at this stage, that don't allow them to grow and progress from this, do so in an (unconscious) attempt to fulfill their own needs (to parent a young child, in the sense of someone relying on them entirely?) rather than with the needs of the patient in mind.
Therapy is a delicate dance, and it needs to be tailored to the needs of each individual patient, but my impression of your old therapist is that she (unintentionally) instilled the belief in you that you cannot handle things on your own, or at least not without her.
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