Hi everyone. I hope there will be people who find my thread to be of use in their own lives. It's something I've realised about myself recently, but I've been like this, practically my whole life. And it's REALLY DIFFICULT TO NOT DO IT. Any thoughts, opinions, feedback, sharing of own personal stories or insight is greatly appreciated!

I find that I am a very very very huge attention-seeker. I put myself down so that others can say I'm not that bad, whether it's sports, academics, etc. I compare myself to others and I always find that they're always better than me, although I KNOW and I TRY to accept the fact that I'm one of a kind and i'm just as special as other people, and I keep putting myself down to...sort of motivate myself to do better. But in the end i lapse into depression. Hence, i cannot be myself around other people. I've been happy before around other people (and now it seems like those times are ages ago...) but for some reason my confidence is losing the more I grow. It could be due to a recent break-up, but i don't know!

I am also concerned with my physical looks, which I've been told, repeatedly: I'm pretty, have great legs, etc. And I keep feeding on them like a girl who's hungry for compliments, and it's sickening and desperate. I want people to know the real me and to love me for who I am, but HOW can I expect people to know me when i keep faking my personality and try to be perfect in other people's eyes and also try to make myself better??? It's my own problem and I gotta deal with it and stop being such an attention-seeking desperate people-pleaser girl!!

I think all the issues above are all inter-related by this monster: low self-esteem. But of course, anyone else having a different answer is more than welcome to say it. Sorry for the lengthy post and THANK YOU FOR READING.