Some good news. If you are BPD, you could be what is referred to as a highly functional one. These can hold full time jobs and even stay in relationships including marriage for long periods of time even indefinitely. This group rarely if ever self harms, and rarely seeks help unless presented with no other option. In other words, forced to by spouse, employer or court. You may still want to address the depression and anxiety which can be addressed here in the US by a primary doctor. Basically your going to miss out on the therapy and addressing the root cause of your abandonment issue(s).