I'm terrified to talk about this for many reasons. One is shame, the other is the feeling that I caused this and it is my fault. I'm so hurt right now and I have no where to go for serious advice. I can't tell anybody because of fear. I'm actually taking my avatar off just so my face can't be seen.

Okay....this is very hard.

I went to a party last night with my friend. She's a girlfriend of a bass player in a band. Ive been going to see this band for awhile now, I really enjoy their shows. It was a private laid back party with friends and family, and the boys played.

Well the original plan was to stay there at my friends aunts house (where the party took place) because everybody was drinking. Her mother and her got into a fight so we all left leaving for her one bedroom apartment. It was 8 people that went. My friends cousin (a girl) and I decided to share the air mattress on the ground and make the boys share the floor and couch.

Early that morning the cousin got up and began using the phone and taking a shower. I was sleeping, but I was awoke by one of the guys getting on the air mattress. Right then and there I should have said....um no, get off. But I was drunk and half dead to the world and I feel back to sleep. I was later awoken again with the guys hands all over me (over my clothes). I was so shocked I did nothing for about 30 seconds, then he stuck his hand down on my crotch and I moved his hand and got up immediately.

I feel so violated, although it was over my clothes. I feel gross and as though I asked for this and betrayed my husband. I'm so sad from this I've been thinking of this all day. I had to spend three hours with the guy this morning and all I wanted the entire time was to go home go home go home. I couldn't tell anybody and I felt absolutely horrible and awkward.

I want to tell my husband badly but I am scared of his reaction. First off I fear he will blame me and figure I was cheating on him, second I fear he will try to find the guy and possibly hurt him severely or kill him.

I'm so alone...I've never needed help as badly as I do now.

My questions are is this considered sexual harassment if it was over my clothes? Should I tell my friend? Should I tell my husband? Should I be selfish and wreck a bunch of friendships?