I am glad you posted here. It took me a bit to do the same because I also felt like it wasn't a problem, even though I have had disordered eating since I was in my early teens.

I think us, people with disordered eating, try to find ways to deny it because our brains have normalized our disordered ways of living. We try and find reasons as to why it can't be, why it is out of the question, why what we're doing is fine and healthy (like it's just coping, I use that one still). It's HARD to get out of that way of thinking. And to do it alone is even harder.

I think writing it out is a great idea. I think getting it off your chest will also help you make this something real, not something that you're just imagining. It was like that for me.